Teacup Gorilla
Bass & Vocals: Dark indie-rock soundscapes with evocative poetry
Minimalist music with fragments of memoir @ the interwebz
An LGBT concert of writers and composers by the Playground Ensemble, with three works by LGBT authors and the composers.
We have a story in my family. My brother is young, nursing his favorite doll. He says I’m going to be a mommy when I grow up! Mom is proud but corrects him – boys grow up to be daddies.
He sets down the doll, and never picks it back up. Cis doesn’t mean simple, he tells me now, a father of two. I keep my dolls much later in life, their unexpected aunt.
I never felt like a girl. What do girls feel like? I didn’t always know, and dream of wearing dresses. I wasn’t consistent, insistent, or persistent. I was frustrated.
A friend asks me what it means to be a woman. I have no idea. What does it mean for you to be your gender?
Hanson is on the radio.
Why is Hanson on the radio?
If I had a story like that, maybe everything would make sense. Maybe I could string this together into a narrative: beginning, middle, and end. Life doesn’t work that way.
A visiting trans friend asks where I get my Testosterone. I make it inside my body, I tell him. I’d give it to you if I could.
Hormones are slow magic.
In my dreams, I’m transgender.
In the mirror, I’m uncertain.
In public, I’m a woman.
In Colorado, your chosen name has to sue your given name for the right to exist.
I don’t get to put all the pieces together. “Passing” is not something I do, but something that happens to me — not a way of presenting, but a way of being seen. Fickle. In a single moment I can be seen and not seen, gendered and misgendered. Ungendered, and undressed.
I don’t believe in authenticity, but I do believe in pain, and doing something to survive it.
Trying on clothes to see if they fit is way better than trying on clothes to see if your gender fits. I didn’t know there was a difference, until everything changed.
I can finally hate my body for the normal reasons.
Bass & Vocals: Dark indie-rock soundscapes with evocative poetry
Bass: Trans-femme 90’s-alt sad-girl rock
Multi-Instrumetalist: indie roots-rock featuring Rachel Eisenstat
Multi-Instrumetalist: Blues-inflected bright/dark music
An LGBT concert of writers and composers by the Playground Ensemble, with three works by LGBT authors and the composers.
We are not here to flatter egotism, or prop up humbug; we are merely telling the [queer] story. We value what is good in the book; but we believe in the existence of other, and more vivid kinds of goodness.
official music video by Gio Toninelo
A stage adaptation of my novel, Riding SideSaddle*, created with Buntport Theater and Teacup Gorilla.
Founded in 2001, The UMS is an annual three-day celebration of music featuring hundreds of bands across multiple venues.
A stage adaptation of my novel, Riding SideSaddle*, created with Buntport Theater and Teacup Gorilla.
A joint tour for Teacup Gorilla’s debut album The Holes They Leave, and my debut novel Riding SideSaddle*.
A joint tour for Teacup Gorilla’s debut album The Holes They Leave, and my debut novel Riding SideSaddle*.
Founded in 2001, The UMS is an annual three-day celebration of music featuring hundreds of bands across multiple venues.
We’re excited to be part of the single release for Species of the Stars by our good friends Open to the Hound!
We’re excited to be part of the single release for Species of the Stars by our good friends Open to the Hound!
For a few years, Teacup Gorilla performed & recorded music with Rachel Eisenstat – initially as Iron City, and later as Raven Jane.
For a few years, Teacup Gorilla performed & recorded music with Rachel Eisenstat – initially as Iron City, and later as Raven Jane.
Combining the sacrifice, transcendence, blood, and circumstance of the Catholic Mass with history, live music, science, dance, literature, and pop culture to find a wholly modern communion experience. What we have left is our selves, broken and battered, but surviving together.